I posted this the first time and WordPress deleted most of my word content and just posted photos. My apologies if you see this twice.
First off, I want to give a big thank you to those who sent me such sweet words of encouragement concerning my binge eating disorder. The outpouring of love I felt through texts, tweets, comments and emails was really overwhelming and I am so grateful for this wonderful community who can come together and support each other. Thank you all!
Today is a new day and it felt so great to get my secret off my chest. Yes, I put myself in a vulnerable position, but healing is about opening up and not hiding-especially behind food. I was able to have a great day of eating yesterday and had no desire whatsoever to binge. While grocery shopping, I discovered an extremely delicious soup that has rice, chicken, beans, corn, onions, and peppers in it. It was part of Progresso soup’s new Light line. The best part is that it doesn’t taste light at all and resembles a tortilla soup flavor without being creamy. I ate it right up and it kept me nice and full for the rest of the afternoon.
Later in the afternoon my sweet friend Jess and I decided to hit the gym for some miles around the track. The original plan was to walk the greenway but crazy winds and frigid temps forced us inside. We ended up logging 4 miles around the indoor track. I could never do that by myself-so boring and monotonous. But having a friend to chat with made it go by so much faster and was much more enjoyable. Afterwards, we did the stationary bike for twenty minutes. Not the best or most hardcore workout, but miles are miles and at least we were moving.
This morning I got up and had my usual breakfast. I was able to sit down and enjoy the food and not feel the rush of forcing it in my mouth. It was nice and I felt totally in control. As I was getting ready this morning and having an all out dance party in my mirror to the tune of Flashdance, I decided to check out my “guns”. I’ve been working hard to lift weights and do push ups at least twice a week and was interested in seeing if there was any visible progress. Sure enough, there was a teensy eensy wee bit of muscle in my arm. Not a lot, but just enough for me to notice. Now if I could just get rid of the fat on my arms, then they would look banging. Working on that.
Tonight I am joining my family in a birthday dinner for my cousin. I know that I have the power to make a good decision regarding what I eat and don’t eat. It will be a good test of willpower. I also have a meeting this afternoon with my therapist. It will be hard to discuss my big setback in progress but I know that he will accept me as I am and it will be a good session. Happy Thursday, y’all.