A New Day

I posted this the first time and WordPress deleted most of my word content and just posted photos.  My apologies if you see this twice.

First off, I want to give a big thank you to those who sent me such sweet words of encouragement concerning my binge eating disorder.  The outpouring of love I felt through texts, tweets, comments and emails was really overwhelming and I am so grateful for this wonderful community who can come together and support each other.  Thank you all! 

Today is a new day and it felt so great to get my secret off  my chest.  Yes, I put myself in a vulnerable position, but healing is about opening up and not hiding-especially behind food.  I was able to have a great day of eating yesterday and had no desire whatsoever to binge.  While grocery shopping, I discovered an extremely delicious soup that has rice, chicken, beans, corn, onions, and peppers in it.  It was part of Progresso soup’s new Light line.  The best part is that it doesn’t taste light at all and resembles a tortilla soup flavor without being creamy.  I ate it right up and it kept me nice and full for the rest of the afternoon.

spoonful of amazing

spoonful of amazing

Later in the afternoon my sweet friend Jess and I decided to hit the gym for some miles around the track.  The original plan was to walk the greenway but crazy winds and frigid temps forced us inside.  We ended up logging 4 miles around the indoor track.  I could never do that by myself-so boring and monotonous.  But having a friend to chat with made it go by so much faster and was much more enjoyable.  Afterwards, we did the stationary bike for twenty minutes.  Not the best or most hardcore workout, but miles are miles and at least we were moving.

reppin' my Nuun HTC shirt

reppin’ my Nuun HTC shirt

This morning I got up and had my usual breakfast.  I was able to sit down and enjoy the food and not feel the rush of forcing it in my mouth.  It was nice and I felt totally in control.  As I was getting ready this morning and having an all out dance party in my mirror to the tune of Flashdance, I decided to check out my “guns”.  I’ve been working hard to lift weights and do push ups at least twice a week and was interested in seeing if there was any visible progress.  Sure enough, there was a teensy eensy wee bit of muscle in my arm.  Not a lot, but just enough for me to notice.  Now if I could just get rid of the fat on my arms, then they would look banging.  Working on that.

just a wee bit of muscle

just a wee bit of muscle

Tonight I am joining my family in a birthday dinner for my cousin.  I know that I have the power to make a good decision regarding what I eat and don’t eat.   It will be a good test of willpower.  I also have a meeting this afternoon with my therapist.  It will be hard to discuss my big setback in progress but I know that he will accept me as I am and it will be a good session.  Happy Thursday, y’all.

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8 thoughts on “A New Day

  1. You are hilarious {and a fun, kind, loving person}…I LOVE that you had a dance party to Flashdance; that is right up my alley! I hope some day I have the privilege to meet you in person! I’m praying for your dinner and meeting with your therapist!

    “The faithful love of the Lord never ends!His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” Lamentations 3:22-23

    • Aww Holly you are so sweet! Flashdance (“What a Feeling”) is one of my favorite things to jam to! Can’t wait to meet you one day…hopefully sooner rather than later. The Bible verse was perfect and just what I needed. Thank you!!

  2. You are SO right. It is all about being in control! One mantra that I kept in my head during my ED (and to this day) is “One good decision at a time.” I try not to worry about tomorrow, the next day, or the day after that…just one good decision at a time. During my ED, I would feel such a rush when I was binging or about to binge. Things would seem to escalate (including my heart rate and breathing). When I learned to slow down and not let the moment get away from me, that helped. Sometimes, when I felt like I was about to let things get out of control, I would say out loud to myself, “No. Slow Down.” I would walk away from the food…just leave it sitting there on the counter. When I would come back to it, after walking away for a little while, I would realize that it was wrong, and I didn’t even want it. It really made a difference to acknowledge how I was feeling and actually tell myself to stop and think.

    • Paige!! Thank you for sharing with me about your ED. I can absolutely relate to every bit of it. Your advice hit the spot! Sometimes it is easy to get caught up and want to change everything at one time, so I especially loved the “one decision at a time”. Definitely reminded me to slow down and fix the present. Thanks for your help!

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