Hello out there! Can anyone here me? It is hard to believe that it was April when I last posted. I’m sure none of you have even noticed, and that is okay too. I’ve missed this little piece of internet space and I’m glad to be back. There are so many reasons that I took a hiatus from blogging and to be honest it was much needed. Although my blog is definitely not my job (I make absolutely nothing and rarely even agree to product reviews), it started to stress me out. I would often find myself thinking I had to do something just so I could get a photo opp or a blog post out of it. I became worried about what everyone else was blogging about or promoting and lost sight of why I even started this blog in the first place. As soon as I realized that it was becoming a chore I knew I needed a break.
Thankfully this break allowed me to have a completely carefree summer. I worked a fun summer job that allowed me to work with tourists on a daily basis in my hometown. Yes, my job was driving a short schoolbus full of river tubes but it was so fun and I really enjoyed it. This break also allowed me to find my writing voice again. I got to the point where I didn’t look forward to blogging because I felt the need to produce certain content or document every race. Hopefully my personality comes through in my writing and people can see that I blog because I love documenting my life, my weight loss struggles and my adventures of learning to become a stronger runner and athlete.
One other very important aspect of taking a hiatus has to do with weight. Back in the spring I finally stepped on a scale to see a number in the 100s. 199 to be exact. I had been chasing that number for months and I finally saw it. I even weighed myself three more times just to be sure the scales were right. But, you know what? It didn’t feel like I thought it would. Sure, I was happy, but I thought that somehow that number would all of a sudden make me feel better. It didn’t. That was the last time I saw that number and haven’t seen it since. The measures it took for me to get to that number were not realistic. Taking three fitness classes a day and pounding out the miles are not something that is sustainable long term. It would be impossible for me to follow a strict eating and workout plan like that forever. I try to always remain positive on this blog. I share my struggles but always keep a smile on my face and have a “hey, it’s okay” attitude. There’s nothing really wrong with that except that eventually that facade eats away at you. I didn’t feel comfortable putting my true and raw feelings on my blog for fear of looking like a failure. I didn’t want to write about when I sat on my couch and stuffed my face with three bags of microwave popcorn and four candy bars, and three bags of jelly beans. That’s not inspiring. I didn’t want to write about eating a peanut butter milkshake every day at work because there was a dessert shop next door. That’s not motivating. I didn’t want to write about the immense lack of self confidence I felt when I tried on my clothes after a binge.
But this summer I had some great blog friends reach out to me and I was honest with them in my struggles. They didn’t judge me or criticize me or make me feel like a failure. They were supportive and encouraging. This made me realize that it is okay to share struggles and stumbling blocks with others because chances are that someone else either feels the same way or has felt that way before. Struggling does not equal failure. It took a long time for me to realize that.
Even with a summer of fun and a summer of not so great eating, I am mostly happy with where I am right now. I’ve raced a few 5ks and have still been able to remain in the under 30 minute range. I have faced my fears of long runs and have completed two ten milers. My body is strong and I am fit. It actually surprises me that I haven’t been as intense and my weight has gone up yet I still remain just as strong as I was during spring racing. Hopefully I will do a post on that soon. I’ve backed off on my workouts and haven’t been as obsessed as I have been in the past. These days I’m mostly logging miles but in the coming weeks will be adding a new cross training regimen to my routine. That excites me. I have several big races planned for the fall including a half marathon this weekend with my Momma and my best friend, Brittney. Girls weekend!
As always, thanks for listening/reading. Surely to goodness none of you even care that I haven’t posted in four months but if you do then thanks for lending your eyes and ears to my word vomit. Y’all are awesome and the blogging community has brought so many wonderful people into my life. I look forward to writing a catch up post so you know where I’m at in life right now. Have a great Wednesday!