A New Day

I posted this the first time and WordPress deleted most of my word content and just posted photos.  My apologies if you see this twice.

First off, I want to give a big thank you to those who sent me such sweet words of encouragement concerning my binge eating disorder.  The outpouring of love I felt through texts, tweets, comments and emails was really overwhelming and I am so grateful for this wonderful community who can come together and support each other.  Thank you all! 

Today is a new day and it felt so great to get my secret off  my chest.  Yes, I put myself in a vulnerable position, but healing is about opening up and not hiding-especially behind food.  I was able to have a great day of eating yesterday and had no desire whatsoever to binge.  While grocery shopping, I discovered an extremely delicious soup that has rice, chicken, beans, corn, onions, and peppers in it.  It was part of Progresso soup’s new Light line.  The best part is that it doesn’t taste light at all and resembles a tortilla soup flavor without being creamy.  I ate it right up and it kept me nice and full for the rest of the afternoon.

spoonful of amazing

spoonful of amazing

Later in the afternoon my sweet friend Jess and I decided to hit the gym for some miles around the track.  The original plan was to walk the greenway but crazy winds and frigid temps forced us inside.  We ended up logging 4 miles around the indoor track.  I could never do that by myself-so boring and monotonous.  But having a friend to chat with made it go by so much faster and was much more enjoyable.  Afterwards, we did the stationary bike for twenty minutes.  Not the best or most hardcore workout, but miles are miles and at least we were moving.

reppin' my Nuun HTC shirt

reppin’ my Nuun HTC shirt

This morning I got up and had my usual breakfast.  I was able to sit down and enjoy the food and not feel the rush of forcing it in my mouth.  It was nice and I felt totally in control.  As I was getting ready this morning and having an all out dance party in my mirror to the tune of Flashdance, I decided to check out my “guns”.  I’ve been working hard to lift weights and do push ups at least twice a week and was interested in seeing if there was any visible progress.  Sure enough, there was a teensy eensy wee bit of muscle in my arm.  Not a lot, but just enough for me to notice.  Now if I could just get rid of the fat on my arms, then they would look banging.  Working on that.

just a wee bit of muscle

just a wee bit of muscle

Tonight I am joining my family in a birthday dinner for my cousin.  I know that I have the power to make a good decision regarding what I eat and don’t eat.   It will be a good test of willpower.  I also have a meeting this afternoon with my therapist.  It will be hard to discuss my big setback in progress but I know that he will accept me as I am and it will be a good session.  Happy Thursday, y’all.

Moving Right Along

Happy Monday, internet world!  While I’m not necessarily glad that the holiday season is over, I am glad that the crazy weeks are over and that I can get back to a normal schedule.  I start my final semester of undergrad on Wednesday so I will definitely enjoy being on a set schedule for the next four months.

I’m not going to pretend I was perfect during the holidays.  I went to parties and gatherings and yes I ate.  If I wanted a red velvet cupcake, then I ate it.  And I didn’t even feel bad about it.  Backsliding a little bit did put back on a few pounds, but I know that being back on a normal schedule this week will put me back in a good place.

This past week I logged a total of 25 miles on the road.  Some of those are walking, some of those are racing, and some of those are running intervals.  But a total of 25 miles isn’t too shabby.  I followed the training plan almost to a T this week, just moved a few days around while still getting the intended workouts complete.

In addition to my training plan, I’m also part of a group that wants to “streak”.  The only rule is that you have to cover one mile per day and doesn’t matter if you run or walk.  I’m on day 7 and intend on making it the entire 365 (Lord willing).  On Friday, I just didn’t want to run/walk/crawl/anything.  Period.  I didn’t want to move my body. After a very late afternoon nap, I woke up and decided to put my big girl panties on and get out there.  It was dark and drizzling so I didn’t want to go down to the bike trail.  What’s a girl to do?  I just strapped on the Garmin and decided to just walk/run back and forth in my driveway.  Even though I probably looked stupid out there, I still got it done.  3 miles is 3 miles, no matter how it gets done.  1613road

On Sunday the training plan called for a 4 mile run.  Yikes.  My boyfriend and cousin wanted to go crawdad hunting so they took me four miles up the road from where they would be at so that I could just run straight to them.  The entire four miles was through the  Great Smoky Mountains National Park and completely along the river.  So peaceful.  While I didn’t run the entire way, I attempted to run .10 mile then walk .10 mile.  I did pretty good at sticking to this interval.  The goal was to maintain a 12:30min/mile which would be 50 minute effort.  I was spot on!  But most of all I was just glad to be done.  It is slightly frustrating that I used to be able to cover this distance over 10 minutes faster than I did yesterday, but that’s just where I’m at and I have to be okay with that.  Time will make me faster.  Effort will make me faster.   1613garmin

Right now, I’m happy with the progress I’ve made.  I’m moving right along and learning to love exercise.  If I can just isolate my clean eating, then I would be unstoppable.  The diet portion will take longer for me to get accustomed to, but it will happen.  For today, I’m proud of where I’m at and where I am going.